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What Metric Should We Optimise For?
The North Star that keeps all our other stars aligned.
The Mind, Explored.
December 31, 2023
In Sweden, one single word captures the essence of their cultural identity: Lagom.
Lagom means just the right amount - encouraging people to focus on quality over quantity, simplicity over extravagance, and balance over excess.
Lagom stops people from losing themselves in any one part of their life by giving just enough of themselves in every part to achieve balance.
This philosophy is one of the reasons that Sweden consistently ranks in the top ten happiest countries in the world.
Insight:
Pouring all our energy into our career may get us promoted, but may leave us with no one to celebrate with.
On the other hand, spending all our time relaxing may lead to a life of regret for never pursuing our passions.
Tipping the scales in any one direction may give a short-term advantage, but balance always wins in the long run.
Diving deep into one aspect of life and knowing when to zoom back out to the big picture keeps our life in balance.
Each action comes with a cost:
We can minimise this cost by being mindful of when one action comes at the expense of another and giving it no more energy than it needs.
For example, only staying late at work for urgent tasks to limit the cost on family time at home.
But some actions synergise:
Investing just the right amount in each area of our life can give us the energy to bring our best selves to our other areas - rather than sacrificing them.
For example, a father who goes to the gym may have less time to spend with his kids - but his vitality gives him more energy to play with his kids, improving the quality of their time together.
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony."
Balance is impossible:
Balancing all our needs all of the time is an impossible ideal - but that’s exactly what an ideal is: a standard of perfection to be aimed for.
When we fall sick, have a tight deadline, or experience conflict in a relationship, our life will be thrown out of balance. But:
“Setting balance as the North Star - as the metric to optimise for - guides us back to our most sustainable, fulfilling, and complete self.”
Tool:
One of the most common tools used by Life Coaches is the Wheel of Life, which provides a visual snapshot of how balanced our life is.
This gives us immediate insight into the aspects of life we may be neglecting, and in which ways we are thriving.
Just as an uneven wheel would result in a bumpy ride, imbalance can lead to a bumpy journey through life.
Inevitably, we will value each dimension differently at different points in our life, so the goal may not be to make all scores equal. Instead, the goal is to be intentional with the shape of wheel we are aiming for.
We may need to build some dimensions entirely from scratch, while others we just need to sustain - but the key is to not neglect any dimension.
Even if you are most motivated by your career, balance will enable you to be more productive in the long run by preventing burnout, boosting your focus, and ensuring you have the social support you need to thrive.
How to create your own Wheel of Life:
Choose the categories that represent the most important dimensions of your life.
You may prefer others, such as: creativity, spirituality, or purpose. While most Life Coaches include money, I have intentionally left this out because each factor is an end goal, whereas money is only a means to an end.
Score yourself out of 10 on how well you’re fulfilling your potential in each category.
Prioritise the categories most in need of growth.
Set SMART goals to improve in these categories.
Review on a weekly or monthly basis.
The Wheel of Life is faster, easier, and more fun than most methods of reviewing your life.
While we may feel unfulfilled in one dimension, this exercise can widen our perspective to all the things in life that matter so we don’t get bogged down by any one thing.
For anyone struggling with their career, know that it is just 1 out of 8 dimensions on your Wheel of Life.
We may even discover that we are succeeding in areas that we overlook, bringing us relief and generating momentum to grow in the ways we want to.
“The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it.”
You can create your own Wheel of Life here.
Prompt:
An easy way to see if you’re fulfilling your potential in each dimension is by asking yourself:
“If every week of my life was like the past week, would my life be well balanced?”
As we enter a new year, there’s no better time to reflect and take action.
Resources on Balance:
One TedTalk: How to make work-life balance work (Nigel Marsh) - with a touch of humour, Nigel explains how investing our energy in the right places can improve our quality of life.
One video: How To Balance Your Life - Philosophy of Lagom (Philosophies for Life) - for a deeper insight into the value Sweden places on balance.
One film: Inside Out (Pete Docter & Ronnie Del Carmen) - a young girl needs to balance her emotions: Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust, and Sadness.
Written by Dr Manu Sidhu 🩺
If you’re interested in hearing founders, investors, and experts explain how technology is being leveraged to improve mind health, check out the MindTech Podcast, also hosted by Dr Manu Sidhu.
The most recent episode is with Min Lee, the Co-founder and CEO of Humin - an app that helps you better understand your mood using data collected from your smartphone. Available on Spotify and on YouTube.
Feel free to email back with any thoughts, questions, or ideas for us to explore.
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